Jul. 14th, 2007
last night, with a blanket spread on the dry grass, we lay down to watch a storm over the mountains.
Lightening from four different sources drew together and reached the earth in one efficient bolt. The dark clouds smudged into the light wakeful ones, and seering pink grew red amidst the grey clusters. As the storm moved directly overhead, red began to imprint her relief on our hot summer skin, but barely a handful of droplets fell before the storm moved on.
Yesterday's highlight: yoga on the porch during the hot wind storm. I was the only unbending tree. What a charged session!
Being in this place makes me question why my life is nested in a city of concrete malignancies and blinders.
It also aggravates my hayfever.
Jul. 2nd, 2007
I just found out another of my friends is pregnant. The three of them seem to be due in January. None of them know one another. It's just strange like that.
They were all "surprises" too.
Jun. 29th, 2007
Ah, my two months of holiday have arrived.
After a morning of rushing to complete some year-end goals, I indulged in a trip for a cup of tea with a colleague. I bought a copy of MacLean's magazine. I used to hold MacLean's high in the intellectual grouping of magazines. Perhaps that was based on a selection of articles. I discovered that there is a lot of trashy article writing between those covers. BUT the featured article was what drew me to buy the issue.
India's latest bridge between poverty and financial levelling is surrogate mothering.
Yes, poor women are signing up to be surrogate mothers for the embryos of others- mostly couples from Western countries. "Rent-a-womb", as the writer jabs, is bringing many destitute families into a middle-class range of life, while likewise helping (foreign) couples with their own family issues. Some people have paid anywhere from $3900 to $10000 to a woman for her surrogate services. There has been great outcome from the endeavor that seems to be driven by a single female Indian doctor at this point, yet the article also highlights numerous ethical and legal concerns. By the sounds of it, the doctor is an excellent recruiter of surrogate mothers, going to the lengths of telling women to bring their friends, and even sometimes convincing hesitant husbands of the merits of the practice.
The evolution of civilization and globalization is astounding, isn't it? I can't say if I am supportive, and yet I cannot say that I counter the ambition. It's ironic though, helping the poor out of poverty while increasing the population. It is just a little ironic, isn't it?????
Last night I dreamed that I was practicing a seated one-legged forward bend, and that I was so flexible that my head was at my ankle. Dreams indeed!
in the same section of dream, a woman told me that the hollow rotting feeling in my sacrum was Alzheimer's. Wha...?
Jun. 25th, 2007
This weather is so amusing. Rain in the morning- real rain, the-sky-means-it rain, and then soft easy blue sky and hot sun in the afternoon. This morning's grey heaviness seemed to equilibriate the inner heaviness of my pending moon. One of those ready to split at the seams bloating-cow days with a mood that cannot be deciphered in rational terms. The afternoon blue sky is a gift to let go by.
I spent some time navigating through the resources on a new-to-me website yesterday.
It is educationally founded, but the resources may appeal to any earth-loving soul (teacher or parent or neither).
I ordered one of the books: Talking Walls. It just excited me.
I am still having computer issues. It seems that I can no longer log in to anything secure... xjournal, itunes store... in trying to fix one problem I think I only made it bigger. whoops! :)
Today's passions steep deeply in lime greens.
Jun. 16th, 2007
My feet tuck into my body in squatting posture on the wooden patio chair. It is a small frame. My heels grip the slats at hip width. It is a favorite posture of mine, the squat. It is harmonizing and grounding. This morning it kept me energized while reading outside in the rainy cool.
a thud in the forest.
a flurry of movement attacks the tall wild grasses.
it still excites me, the invisible. At first i want to call it strange, something strange happened in the grasses, but then I realize that it is only my perspective on the usual that is strange.
For the forest staccato thud and shudder is usual.
Today i have emerged again, soles wet from pressing down the grass, my internal workings shivering high with my morning's message. The missives that come forward during acupuncture and the pre-pinning massage awaken me. It's as though my therapist's hands loosen the syllables from their slumber in the tissues, drains them upward to where my heart can speak them. i'm not sure I've ever experienced this during bodywork. Never so regularly, never so lucidly.
Today, my mind rampant and my muscles poised to do the work of the rampant mind, my heart slurred: "slow down", and then indeed, everything uncoiled.
All day I have been witnessing my twisting and coupled uncoiling. I should be tired soon.
A slow honoring-solo lunch at the Thai restaurant lassoed my thoughts back to an empty cafe in HoiAn. The morning heat steadily climbed. Everywhere there was movement- in the ceiling fans, in the grass awning, in the napkin pinned beneath my fingers. And then into the outside stillness broke a heaving stack of bamboo culms, at least 50feet long, pivoted at the centre by the four-wheeled cart the men were using to mobilize it. Long and slow the bamboo passed, from edge to edge of the cafe walls.
I need to practice this stillness. This awareness of stillness about me, with its spout-sprung leaves and flitting birds and lumbering train of bamboo.
Upon leaving my lunch place, my eyes met with an indian women's. They were red-veined and strained. She resumed her tailoring behind the shop window.
A placard; turbulent art.
The moment immediately woke a sleeping longing. How I long to speak enough of my sisters' languages to be able to utter a few words of congruence. courage. something that reaches to loosen the currency of our womanly souls.
I sliced too much ginger into my chai.
I have a two page list of vocabulary words from a book I am reading. I have even recorded the ones I should know or think I know. I had to confront my ego with this decision. I am ready to look them up.
Unspoken days like this are good. so very reminding of the footprints we've left, almost as if we knew we'd need guidance finding our way back to ourselves.
My heart is braced. but relaxing. slow and easy now
Jun. 15th, 2007
The birds are twittering a busy evening. Blue sky. Sun on the receptive greens and paling bark. lovely lovely night!
Today was the last day of classes.
The final bell sounded and students spilled into the corridor whooping and cheering. Hearing this I realized that indeed I have two months of let-loose freedom just a mere countdown away. I think I am stunned. Are we really teetering on summer?!
With that, I flowed out the classroom door with my students and let off a few of my own whoops. My mind needs to catch up with the day and time!
There is creative possibility and accomplishment dripping from the fingertips this weekend. R has taken off for the weekend. Burning brow and nausea have settled me for the past few days, and I chose to simmer in the quietude and stillness of home. There will be time for camping and fun. This is definitely a time for unwinding. Such moments shiver me with "where to begin?!!"
-take a drawing class that will motivate creation and texturize my mind
-more yog-ah. emphasis on "ah".
-try to begin journalling again.
-read through to the end of the half-read books. *eye roll*
-drive... eastward. I think the hoodoos of Alberta are on my list. I am contemplating a dip below the border. Somewhere i've never explored. I'm also thinking about Myanmar though. Guess I'll check out the visa requirements first.
-music. hopefully the piano comes through. Releasing my heart to guitar again. Releasing my voice more courageously. drumming the sunday sunsets with a drum circle at Jericho Beach with R.
-diversifying my social group.
This last one began tonight. I replied to two posts on Craigslist. Women are looking for each other for tea and films and sanity. I didn't think much about it before responding. We'll see what happens. Effort and sending out the vibe is my summer-long goal. I want interactive balance! outings! Tea even! My greatest and smartest friends have happened through less-than-typical circumstances. Hope is all around!
What is the most curious/interesting way you've met/made a friend?
Jun. 5th, 2007
I woke up yesterday thinking deeply about my two dead cats. The smell of their fur, their respective personalities: Prudence was a very prudent orange cat with gold eyes; Sunshine was a dopey black kitten with handicaps across the board. Prudence aged until 13. Sunshine until just four months.
It was nice engaging in the cozy, affective memories. Wet-nose thoughts and all.
Today I learned something shameful about Canada. Quebec has a yearly moving day- a law that forces every lease to end/begin on July 1st (which is also Canada day).
Due to this (idiocy), it is also a day when the SPCA is overloaded with pets that owners have outgrown or cannot take with them. I guess there is also a clause in leases that asserts: "no pets allowed".
There is a note that a man once tried to "rent" a dog for his two week family camping trip, and a sad one about an abandoned panther whose teeth and claws had been removed for the sanity of the owner. Disgusting, isn't it?!
If it interests you, you can read the article ( here.Collapse )
May. 28th, 2007
Saturday, in the middle of writing an email, my computer battery went kaput.
Now I cannot login to my Yahoo mail. It alerts me that a secure connection could not be made. Anyone have suggestions???
May. 3rd, 2007
I have finally just viewed "I for India", a film festival documentary about the soul movement that brings people to leave their homeland and pursue life elsewhere. A large portion of the film is super 8 footage correspondence exchanged between the Suri's in England, with the relatives back in India. Some of the perspectives and emotions shared in this correspondence are acutely honest.
There is some footage of present day India as well, which stirred a life in me. oh, to bathe in those smells and sounds and torrid eyes again. the fury that is India...
I recommend you find it and give it a watch.
Mar. 23rd, 2007
I made the err of following my curiosity.
i followed a Yahoo link about cupcakes. It's no longer the kindergartener's cake.
It's a rainy Friday. Cupcakes are pretty.
and then i found this link
If you scroll down the blog a bit, you'll find a list of link, images, and a myriad of cupcake-world crones.
Peruvian Caramel Filled Lemon Cupcakes with Raspberry Buttercream and Coconut;
Pumpkin and Mexican Chocolate with Toasted Cinnamon Cream Cheese Frosting;
Chempedak Cupcakes with Mango Drizzle;
Lime-Vanilla Cupcakes with Cucumber Buttercream;
Figgy Cupcakes with Mascarpone Icing;
Vanilla-Cardamom Cupcakes with Grand mariner Buttercream and Candied Orange Zest;
Green Tea Bubble Cream Filled Cupcakes with Green Tea Cream Cheese Frosting;
Green Mung Bean Cupcakes with Palm Sugar Buttercream Frosting;
Himalayan Goji Berry Chocolate Cupcakes topped with Chocolate Ganache and Himalayan Pink Salt;
pretty please, find your favorite. :)
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